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You must be the one limiting your time on the web and setting tighter standards on the films you enjoy as a family, and you must be the one making sure you are part of an accountability group. After stumbling upon his father’s magazine under his Dad’s bed in first grade, Fred struggled with pornographic materials for the next twenty years or so.
On your end, trusting your husband again will require obedience and submission to God, in spite of your scars. To rebuild trust, the husband must act decisively to become trustworthy again.Our wives can do some things in the relationship without our help, of course.For instance, Brenda can love me simply by choosing to do so, no matter how badly I treat her or betray her. There will be no trust until you become trustworthy, which means she’ll need at least three things from you: These go a long way towards rebuilding trust by eliminating fear.When I looked in his bag I found a stripper video that was signed by the woman on the front cover, and it was addressed to him.Recently, when we talked about his e-mailing and talking to another woman, he said it started last December.I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and caught him looking at porn on the Internet.He said he was trying to get some romantic ideas since he knows I want more romance. Several months later, after moving into our house, I was looking for an anti-virus disc for our home computer, and he said he had it in his Navy bag.Sure, our relationship is better than I ever imagined it could be, but now I’m just so scared to lose what God has miraculously restored. She’s been crushed and turned inside out, and she needs the time to get back on her feet again spiritually. Stand up like a man and continue to live this new life God has given you patiently. Besides, your patience is really a sign of your level of repentance, and that will be a crucial sign of trustworthiness to her.Some days the fear and pain come rushing back in and I feel devastated all over again. My husband is very patient with me and very encouraging, but now I am afraid that if I don’t stop this doubt and this constant need for encouragement that he is going to get discouraged and quit. If you don’t have patience, it is a troubling red flag to everyone involved, and it should be to you as well.” That kind of attack is outright spiritual abuse, and it comes out of the same weak character root that sent you into sexual sin in the first place. You must give your wife every right to play a role in defining what “trustworthiness” means to her in your marriage, and she must be able to count on you to come through for her on these issues.For instance, if you don’t like to read, but she needs you to read as a sign of commitment from you, you need to read it or listen to the audio version of the book.