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Ask questions and show both enthusiasm and respect for these new experiences, understanding that some family members may be cautious about immediately embracing an “outsider,” especially if the expectation is that your significant other will marry an Indian.Share your heritage and family traditions with your date, too.And there’s the drive towards conformity: The ugly head that raises itself at the sight of anything that dares to deviate from the norm.Mixed-race couples often have to deal with scepticism about their relationship masquerading as concern about cultural differences.And a mixed-race couple in which one person is black often brings out the worst kind of racism.
I started this blog to hopefully shoot down some of the common misconceptions people have about relationships like ours and to answer some of the more common questions that people may have about being in an intercultural relationship. Elephant Beach on India’s Andaman Islands was not where I thought I would have to justify my life choices.Yet, there I was, feet dipped in clear water, staring into the horizon, trying to convince two middle-aged women whom I did not know that the man I was with was indeed my husband.When Aarya decided to tie the knot with Nicholas in 2010, she often got lectured about the sanctity of marriage and how it should be preserved.Such attitudes towards mixed-race couples are just another expression of the intolerance that won’t countenance Hindu women marrying Muslim men.Determine if your lifestyles and values are compatible. If you’re both Indian, don’t take tradition for granted. ) Be sure to talk about what being Indian means to you in practical, everyday terms.One of you might be more invested in culture and history than the other. Indian Dating: Roles and Expectations Everyone has expectations and assumptions about what a relationship should look like, regardless of culture or heritage.Indian Dating: Tradition and Family Indian culture is rich in tradition, with family life highly valued.If you’re not Indian and your date is, celebratory social occasions and family events will likely become part of your life.One day when walking on a street in Pune, Neha’s hometown, a biker slowed down near the couple and almost hit her. She said she sensed a mix of repressed fury and lust in the man’s tone, when he hissed back: “I will f*** you.” To many Indians, the idea of a mixed-race couple is alien, repulsive even.Nicholas Chevaillier, my friend Aarya’s French-American husband, has been asked more than once in India where and how he “picked up” the woman he was with.