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“Because my body was so new to penetration, my boyfriend did a lot of fingering to prepare me for, well, the final act,” she says.“Easing into things via foreplay helped to make first-time sex virtually painless for me.” Keep in mind that not all women get turned on by the same things.We’ve enlisted the help of Laura-Anne Rowell, a sex coach at Primitive Balance, to dish nine secrets on having a more pleasurable experience during your first time. Believe it or not, unrealistic expectations (even if you don’t consciously realize you have them) can negatively affect your first experience.

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"When a woman is turned on and wet, this makes sex more enjoyable and easier for penetration (less painful)." Anna*, a sophomore at the University of Maryland, lost her virginity this past summer.

According to Rowell, there are three basic positions for starters that provide the most pleasure to the female: missionary, girl on top, or doggie style.

"Depending on if you want clitoral stimulation (girl on top) or if you want to feel more relaxed and find it better for g-spot (missionary) or if you want deep penetration (doggie)," she says.

Be patient with each other, take your time, communicate during the act and learn what feels right ––and what doesn’t.

Kelsey*, a junior at Florida State University, knows just how important it is not to rush into things.

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