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" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position.A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran." There is an overweight guy who is watching TV.A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week.

When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental.

He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that.

The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend.

Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away.

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